Celebrating freedom

Your Quit Date is: Wednesday, May 05, 2010 at 11:30:00 PM
Time Smoke-Free: 48 days, 2 hours, 18 minutes and 29 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 577
Lifetime Saved: 4 days, 9 hours
Money Saved: $176.40

It has been a hard month and as I'm writing this at 4am on 6/23, I am amazed at the words written above here. For those of you who don't know or haven't been following me for long... I used to smoke.

As you can see from my wonderful quitnet.com reminder I have been free from smoking for almost 2 months, 48 days and some change (by the time this posts it will be a solid 50 days!). It has been hard! Let me tell you, I have been through some pretty terrible things in my life and quitting smoking has been undoubtedly one of the toughest personal battles I have ever fought.

Ever.

So today, I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge the freedom I have fought for and gained these past 48 days. Yesterday, I found out that someone in my family might be very sick. Nothing set in stone yet... but it's not looking good. Needless to say it was one of those, "Oh Lord, I wish I was still a smoker" moments. I knew smoking wasn't an option... so what did I do?

I drove to the store and bought some nicorette gum. I poured myself a glass of wine when I got home and I sat. I sat on my porch, clutching the pack of nicorette gum. I sat there with my wine glass sitting beside me. I sat there and I sobbed to one of my best friends and told her that I was angry and sad and scared and hurt. I sat there... and I breathed, but I didn't smoke. I didn't even use the nicorette gum.

Today, I am celebrating the fact that I have survived some really tough moments these past few weeks and I survived them without the vice I had been using for almost 10 years. I survived it all without cigarettes.

I will always take it one day at a time, and I am thankful for every moment I remain smoke free, but for now... for today...

I am celebrating freedom.