ICU Nursing 4 years in...

For a while now I have been thinking about why I have such a difficult time blogging about nursing these days. I think it is a collection of things but the main one is mostly just because I have nothing to share anymore. When I first started this blog I found excitement in everything I did. I enjoyed finding the shareable moments in every experience... good or bad. Being a new nurse meant that every task was a challenge and it was fun to share it with others. I also loved the moments where I felt the reward of nursing... the tangible patient care moments that "made it all worth it."

I think if I am honest with myself, I would say that those moments are rare now. The work is still difficult but in a different way. It isn't challenging anymore... just hard. Long hours, night shifts and a messy sleeping schedule. The politics of a failed economy and its impact on a government hospital inevitably mean that budget cuts create a not-so-great work environment. All of that to say that I guess considering everything, I have not much of a desire to come to this space of mine to write about my job. Because to be honest that is all it is right now... a job.

Not to say that I don't have aspects of it that I still appreciate and maybe even love... but for the most part I have to pray to God multiple times a shift to remind me of why I wanted to be here in the first place. The good thing is that I am making some efforts to open up other doors in the future. I am chugging away at school so I can get my BSN and eventually my MSN (not sure in what yet). And truthfully I think things are in a good place because I don't hate my job like I did a few months ago. I think I am just beginning to consider the possibilities outside of the ICU. So we shall see...