July

I despise the month of July. Truly there is nothing good about it. It is hot and the rainy season is long gone and still far, far away. There is way too much to do with no time to do it. We are always short staffed at work. It's impossible to sleep during the day. The hospital is inundated with gobs of new interns who have egos the size of Jupiter and an experience level the size of an ant. (ok maybe not all but most.)

Seriously. I hate the month of July more than I hate peas... or bacon... and let me tell you... that is saying a lot.  

I don't enjoy feeling this way. I don't enjoy that feeling of dread as I read the assignment list every day. There aren't any "good" assignments these days. The patients are either really sick or really crazy or really violent or really mean. I am thankful for my co-workers that keep me sane but even a few of the good ol' standby people have been in a bad funk too.... might have something to do with the fact that they have had to work literally 19 days in a row. 19 days. 12 hour shifts..... 19 days in a row. Yeah, I'd be grumpy too if I worked that much.

When your career is one that involves taking care of sick people it is easy to get tired and burnt out fast. Especially when the people you are taking care of are crazy and mean and unappreciative. I always think its funny... when people (usually the docs) say things like "oh don't take it personally they aren't in their normal state"

hmmm... ok well how about this.... how about I go take a nap in the on call room while you sit here and get spit on and called a whore and a stupid b*tch for the third day in a row and then tell me you aren't gonna be a little bit worn out after 3 days and 12 hours of that. Oh and btw good luck getting a break to go to the bathroom or a break to eat your dinner. Sound good to you?

I am thankful that I get to be an advocate for my patients and I am thankful that I have a job that I usually love... a lot. But sometimes.... just sometimes, I think... I know I am your advocate but who is mine? When you go home every day practically in tears from exhaustion and you know you have a month straight of an insane schedule with no time to re-charge.... it is daunting and it makes you wonder how in the heck you are gonna survive another week.

At this point I don't have any good answers...

Did I mention that I hate July?