Wedding Post #2

We had our reception at a small restaurant called Nola. The food was delicious, the service was stellar and I couldn't have been happier with how laid back and fun it all was.

It was nice to be able to expand our guest list a bit more to include some of the people who couldn't come to the ceremony. A bunch of my favorite co-workers came and they are always such a blast.

The girls went crazy over the Mardi Gras beads... I still have a basket full of them at home.

Our favors were plantable paper hearts... seeds that are embedded in recycled paper that you can literally put in soil and watch grow into a beautiful mix of flowers. I hand stamped the envelopes and decorated each little flower pot with ribbon or adhesive borders from the Martha Stewart craft line. I still have yet to plant ours at home but I am excited to see how well it works.

 

 Our cake was a mix of layered Red Velvet with cream cheese frosting and chocolate cake with dark chocolate, hazelnut ganache. It was SO good.

This was my failed attempt at warning Chris not to shove cake in my face....

it obviously didn't work. Silly boy. He's lucky I love him so much.

The toasts were given by Ami and Chris' dad. We were given a beautiful wedding prayer by him that brought tears to my eyes. It was so touching and so thoughtful. I am thankful to be surrounded by so many people of faith and wisdom. I know our marriage will be better because of it.

So that's it. I am now a married woman. Who would have thought? Just a short time ago I was convinced that I would be single for the rest of my life. And while I think that life can be very well lived single or married... I am very glad that I met Chris and I am so thankful to be sharing my life with my best friend. 

<3

and we're back!

Hello Friends!

I'm officially back and ready ( I think) to start blogging again. Life has been full of a lot of stuff... for lack of a better word. There are many adventures to catch up on but as promised I will start off with a wedding recap post.

Let me just say that I think I am the luckiest girl in the world because I got my dream wedding. It was small and easy (in comparison to most weddings). It was fun and I can honestly say that the day was perfect and let's face it... how many brides can actually say that nothing... and I mean nothing went wrong on their wedding day?

I was lucky enough to have my wonderful friend Tenley Clark as a photographer and she did a phenomenal job... plus it was just fun having her around for the day. <3

The day started off a little rushed since we had to be at City Hall early in the morning and it is an hour away from our house but that was really the only slightly stressful part of the day. We even ended up getting to our ceremony appointment 30 minutes early!

 

I was lucky enough to have my bff Ami and her entire family in town which is quite a feat and it absolutely made the day. I consider them to be my family and I was so glad they could be there.

My shoes were awesome but probably the most uncomfortable things in the world... guess that's what happens when you order things online without trying them on first.

My family :) These are my girls and they truly mean the world to me. When Chris and I dropped them off at the airport at the end of the weekend I sobbed like a baby the entire way home. It was just so great having them meet everyone here in California and I loved creating such awesome memories with them here. Love them <3

San Francisco City Hall is absolutely gorgeous. People come from all over to get married in this building and I cant believe I was able to get married there for less than $100!

 The gang. Some folks are missing because they were out of town but I was so glad I was able to have my bff's from Cali there. The limit for city hall ceremonies is small... 6 guests only and we were able to sneak in 20! Sadly I had to really limit the amount of people we invited but I was so thankful for those that could come.

Mom and Dad. :) I am so lucky because I have the best in-laws ever. They truly are a godsend because I didn't grow up with a very strong family and in so many ways they have been such a blessing to me. I definitely feel very loved by Chris' entire family and am so thankful for that.

Our county clerk was so cool. He saw how many people we had with us and just goes "Ok everyone crowd around!" He was so laid back about everything... it made the whole ceremony fun and easy. That day there was a large group of school kids on a field trip and they ended up just crowding on the stairs behind us and watched the entire ceremony. When we turned around they all yelled out, "Congratulations Chris and Andi!!!" Later one of the little boys walked up to me and handed me a white rose. It was incredibly sweet and it were the small moments like those that made the day special.

Of course we have to give credit to the guy who introduced us... my old roommate Sam (who I miss dearly btw... so weird not living with him after all these years!)

 

I really can't believe everything went as well as it did... I am a lucky girl. I love being married and I have the most thoughtful, caring, crazy, loving husband in the world.  :)

Next post I will have pictures of the reception which was awesome as well. Happy Friday friends!

Note to Self

If there has been one thing I have learned this week, it's that setting up IKEA furniture by yourself at 1:00am is never a good idea. ever.

I am officially getting married in three days and I think I'm on the verge of losing my mind. Between not feeling well and having a million things to do wedding related and not... it's made for a very stressful week. I have a ton of blogging to catch up on as well. Wedding stuff, nursing stuff, life stuff. 

I think it will all have to wait though... for now my "to do" list has been drastically shortened to only the bare necessities.

The weekend after I get married, my mom gets married (definitely a blog post on that is needed too).
Then, the following week I leave for Costa Rica with the girls from my work!

So all that to say... I have officially decided to go on a blog break. Not for long but probably until the end of February. I need to take some time to survive the next few weeks and then to settle into being married. Crazy!

Hope you all are doing well and I promise that when I return the posts will be well worth the wait!

<3

Fresh Start

Image Credit

There is something wonderful about the new year. I'm not one to necessarily buy into the whole resolution thing but I do love the idea of a fresh start. It's a chance to take a look around and figure out what things can stay and what must go. I have decided that twinkle lights have made the must stay list. I just love the way they did this room. I even love the paint color and funny enough... I have that exact photo hanging above my bed as well.

I have been craving more nature these days. I want fresh air. I want less clutter. Fewer things to suffocate my surroundings with. I guess that's the great thing about moving. You get to throw away all of the things you don't need or don't use. That's the only redeeming factor of saying goodbye to the holidays too. Less chaos... healthier eating. Life settles back to normal and you get to re-evaluate a bit. Make some decisions about how you want this year to be.

This year is going to be a year of change for me. I get married in less than a month! I am getting back into running again and am even starting to sign up for races in the spring. 5k races to start with and building back up to running half marathons eventually. Back to basics for now. In the spring I start school again. I will be doing a lot of traveling this year. Costa Rica, Boston, New York and hopefully Dallas. 

It will be good. This year will be good. I feel like if I say that enough and believe it... it will happen. 

Here's to positive thinking and a chance to have a fresh start.

What about you friends?

What things are you looking forward to this new year?

2011 Recap

January: Settled into my relationship with Chris and jumped into marathon training. Had the best running month of my life and felt great.

February: Traveled to Ireland and Lebanon!

March: More marathon training, overcoming some really tough long runs. Had a wonderful baby shower at my house!

April: One year blog anniversary! More running... almost at the 26 mile mark for my long runs. Ran an awesome half marathon with my BFF Bethany.

May: Ran my first 26.2 miles and got a PR during my training run! Worked a lot and realized just how hard it can be to balance life, relationships, running and work.

June: Ran TWO marathons! One in San Diego and one in Seattle.

July: Ran my third and final marathon of the year (and possibly of my life) and became a MARATHON MANIAC! Dealt with the craziness of July in the ICU (aka brand new docs... fresh out of med school)

August: Celebrated my 27th birthday! Had a patient die and was more devastated by it than any other time in my nursing career.

September: Went to Texas for the first time ever to visit my girls.

October: Began studying for the CCRN. Had a bridal shower at my house for my BFF Jen :)

November: Got engaged! Celebrated Thanksgiving with Chris and his family in Arizona. Passed the CCRN exam!

December: Moved into my new house. Picked a wedding date! Celebrated Christmas with Chris and his family and my family too. Made the coolest Christmas fort ever.

2011 has been a big year for me. I'm excited to see what 2012 has in store.... 

Happy New Year Friends!

Christmas 2011

This Christmas was pretty awesome. Much different than my usual holiday routine. In years past I always made a point to work the holidays because my family is crazy and it was just easier to volunteer to work.
This year though it was infinitely different... having Chris and his family was wonderful. In some ways bittersweet because it made me acutely aware of what I had been missing for so long. A feeling of Christmas joy that I have not allowed myself to feel for quite a few years now but this year it came in full force. I am one lucky girl to have such amazing future in-laws. :)

Sadly, at some point during the festivities I managed to lose my camera bag at their house. Luckily, I still have my camera but it means that my camera battery, extra lens and cable are no where to be found. Which basically means that I have no pictures of this holiday because my camera is dead.
The only two survivors are pics from my iPhone.
1)The awesome Christmas fort I built in my room. I knew having a canopy bed would pay off someday. There is something magical about Christmas lights around you when you're falling asleep. :)

2) The best Christmas present ever. When Chris bought my engagement ring he purposely picked out a plain band... that way we could go back together and pick out a setting. He got me the most beautiful one ever and it's great because I can more safely wear it at work without it snagging on everything now!

Luckiest. girl. ever.

Merry Late Christmas Friends! How was your holiday?

It ain't about me... or is it?

Warning: I'm about to get brutally honest here so hang in there with me... this won't be one of those mushy "nursing is so great!" posts.... cause truth be told, nursing has not been so great recently. In fact it's been tedious at best. I have not been at my best recently either. I'm tired and to be honest I'm a little bored these days. I find myself counting down the minutes until my shifts are over and my fuse has grown short with people.
I have to say that there are a lot of times in my job when I take things personally even though I have no business doin' so. In my line of work you deal with people at their worst. Sick, broken and teetering on the edge of life and death.
For some reason, recently people have been straight up crazy though. Like kickin', hollerin' and bein' down right mean -crazy. Most of me gets it. I get that when you are at your worst you don't have much to give, especially if you really aren't in your right mind... which happens a lot in these parts. There is a reason ICU delirium is a legit diagnosis.
Most of the time I'd like to think that I handle these situations okay. I see what happens when people get defensive and try to argue instead of understanding. It just doesn't work and usually it just makes the patient angry and you more frustrated. If I was in that hospital bed who knows how I would be? Just take a look at me around 4:00am on any given night shift and you'd probably have a slight clue.
Lately I have been in this weird place. Apathetic in a sort of way to what goes on around me. You see sickness and death all of the time so when a patient comes in with cancer that has ravaged their face you aren't moved the way you once were. Or when a patient with severe pulmonary disease is throwing the biggest fit in the world because they have to be on an obnoxious bipap mask all night... you tend to not have as much sympathy as you once did.
No... now I find myself annoyed at every call light I have to answer. Tired of the same old routine that doesn't challenge my brain but injures my back and zaps every ounce of energy I have left. Frustrated because I can't understand what my patient is trying to say... it's difficult when you've had half your tongue removed, ya know? That is not what crosses my mind though... the fact that he is angrily pointing at these scribbled, jumbled letters on a piece of paper like I am supposed to magically understand them... that is what I see. Frustration and pain and exhaustion... from both parties.
Finally I discern what he is trying to convey...

"It hurts when I swallow... is that ok?"

"Yes, that's totally normal." I nod my head eagerly. 

Relieved to finally be able to communicate, the man breaks down in tears and starts profusely apologizing.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." he mouths as he lays his head back on his pillow.
The floodgates have now opened and I instantly feel like a horrible person.
He knew I was getting frustrated too and I probably could have done a lot more to hide that fact. To have patience and understanding for a man who is battling the big C and now has a very long and brutal recovery ahead. Today I will go home and I will crawl into bed a healthy person... sleeping in my own house peacefully.
This man will not.
He will not have anything close to that and the least I could have done was given him a little room to be frustrated without me being annoyed or inconvenienced back.

I told him that he did not have to ever apologize to me for something like that. I held his hand and told him that I was sorry too.

The worst part of it all is that I don't really know what to do from here. I come to work every day. I do my job as best I can but I'm realizing that my best sometimes just isn't what it should be. I am tired... all the time. I am bored with my job and don't feel challenged but I have no desire to change. I am holding it together on the surface just fine but inside I feel like something just isn't right. And I can't help but wonder if the problem is everything else or if it starts right here... with me.